shangy_biblefandomcom-20200214-history
Onceler Moen
Onceler Moen is a trans wizard king. He almost exclusively uses his powers for evil and misfortune. He has an unabashed love of eating sandwiches, breaking the law and making everyone uncomfortable. For his general chaotic nature and lineage he was put into Racist House, where he is unpopular on account of being "far too cursed but not nearly racist enough" - todays het character of the day, severus snape from the harry potter series Birth of the Onceler Onceler Moen is the child of Erika Moen and The Onceler from the hit movie The Lorax starring Danny Devito, after a one-night stand. Two cursed entities created a child that was uniquely disturbing in his own way so much so he developed magical talents for causing mayhem. After a while Erika was tired of Onceler Moen in general just being around and getting in the way of her reading sonic porn fanfiction, giving herself enemas, and stealing packers from trans men, so she sent him away to go live at some wizard school. Onceler also has a half-brother, Sh*dzter Moen, who disappeared long ago. Little is known about him other than that he was also a child of Erika Moen and named in honor of Sh*dzter, as he had come to be revered by the Komaeda clan despite directly contributing to Shangryism due to angering and dying at the hands of Shadow the Hedgehog, and had become somewhat of a martyr to them. Onceler grew up with tales of his father, but was never able to formally meet him in person -- this likely being because even The Onceler didn't want to admit to fucking Erika goddamn Moen. As such, in utter adoration of his father's devious energy and love for capitalism that stood in contrast to the horniness of his mother that he hated so much, he adopted the name Onceler when he realized he was trans. No one knows Onceler Moen's deadname, but it is rumored that if you speak it to him, you die. On Being Transgendedededered Onceler is the only trans student at Hogwarts School for Bitchcraft and Pissedry, a school exclusively known for only accepting white cis heterosexuals who believed in woke elf slavery. While the school does have around 5 students of color to seem woke, Onceler is not one of them -- he is a cracker, and possibly one of the whitest people alive, given his love of ham and mayo sandwiches on white bread. Since literally no one in this woke school knows what a trans or even a gay person is many people try to misgender Onceler Moen at first, but find they cannot speak -- because Onceler has already killed them with his mind. This is highly illegal but everyone fears Onceler so greatly no one can do anything about it. Unlike most trans men, and his mother, Onceler Moen is decidedly unhorny, but makes up for it by being cursed in literally every other way imaginable. Relationship with Osomatsu Penders Osomatsu Penders is the only other homosexual at Stupid Bitch Fuck Harry Potter School, and began dating Onceler Moen during his third year, though Osomatsu is one year younger. Osomatsu is known for being very nice but also incredibly stupid, which is contrast to Onceler, who is very mean and also very stupid. He is also coincidentally searching for his own disappeared brother but quickly forgot about him like after his first week. No one quite knows how or why someone as nice as Osomatsu Penders would date someone as absolutely awful as Onceler Moen, but most people will admit its kind of cute in the way seeing a farm dog shake a mouse to death is cute. Status in the Komaeda Clan Onceler is directly descended from Komaeda, inheriting his white clam chowder hair and cracker skin. It is thought that the Komaeda blood in Onceler's veins are what cemented his sorting into Racist House. Onceler however has broken off all contact with other members of the Komaeda Clan, declaring they love slurs too much even for him, which is really saying something. Onceler is one of the few neutral parties in the Bible, renouncing Republicanism and his family but also containing too much power himself to truly devote himself to Shangry as he worships himself more than anything. Still, he respects Shangry's power and the rivalry against his former family. As such, Shangry has pardoned Onceler and upgraded him from negative rights to no rights. Mention of Onceler within Republican circles is strictly banned, as he is considered a traitor and a deceiver for daring to be chaotic and cursed without being horny and stalking people or an alt-righter. It is said mentioning Onceler in front of Komaeda himself makes the evil Republican god in question very angry, though oddly enough Erika Moen seems to feel neither one way or the other about her ex-communicated son. Trivia It is not clear if the harry potter school that onceler moen attends is the same as the Hogwarts School of Raicsm and Slavery that Randall boggs once attended. Even if its not, the fact that two of the most asexy, racism-loving, daddy-issues-having dumbasses in the universe went to any version of hogwarts is rather remarkable, and possibly the work of some unseen demonic force (Uke Sonic). Category:Asexy Category:Hogwarts Alumni